Parenting – Should Children be Paid to do Household Chores?

Many parents wrestle with the question of whether or not their children should be required to do chores around the house, and if so, should they be paid for it? There’s really no simple answer.

There are pros and cons to every method of administering an allowance to children. Some think kids should earn money in exchange for doing chores, others believe kids should not be paid for regular contributions that are expected of every family member.  No matter which side you agree with, the point of an allowance is to teach your kids money management skills.

Age appropriate, weekly chores, whether it’s taking out the garbage, emptying the dishwasher, folding clean laundry, cleaning the cat litter box, or light yard work like raking leaves, can help a child develop character. Paying them for their contributions also helps them to develop a respect for earning money.

You might decide on a definite set of weekly chores that your child must complete before being paid, or choose to make a list with a set price per chore and leave it up to them. Bigger tasks like shoveling snow, earn more money, and things like making their bed, earn less.

The method you end up using may not be what you started with, every child is different and the family dynamic and responsibility varies. However you structure it, be flexible. Even if you offer your child an allowance with no strings attached, you shouldn’t hesitate to ask them to do something periodically.

All content of this newsletter is intended for general information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult a medical professional before adopting any of the suggestions on this page. You must never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment based upon any content of this newsletter. PROMPTLY CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CALL 911 IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

Teaching Your Children to Embrace Diversity

Our children are being introduced to so many more people than any other generation before them. Whether through school, outside activities, or on some form of electronic media, they have the opportunity to learn a great deal about people who come from diverse backgrounds, including those from different ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, and family dynamics. So, how can we, as parents make sure they are accepting of the differences in others?

Here are some tips parents can follow when trying to teach their children about diversity:

  • Set a good example – It might sound obvious but our children learn just as much from watching what we do as listening to what we say. As parents, we must recognize and address our own short-comings when it comes to accepting diversity if we want to teach our children correctly. Our actions cannot contradict the lessons we are trying to teach and we must lead by example if we do not want our children judge others based on stereotypes.
  • Get out of your comfort zone – While we all agree technology can make the world a much smaller place, the fact is most of us still spend our daily lives living in communities where the majority of our neighbors look like us and share the same values and traditions. Unfortunately, raising our children in a homogeneous environment is not conducive to truly teaching them about accepting diversity because they don’t get the opportunity to experience those who are “different.” Parents must make a deliberate effort to leave our familiar surroundings and experience and appreciate diversity.
  • Listen to what your child is saying – As much we would like to think we are the only influences in our children’s lives, we are not. They see and hear things from other adults, other children and other sources. Other influences can lead to the formation of inaccurate perceptions and beliefs. Take notice if your child is using hurtful or stereotypical language and take time to explain why something is inappropriate. Also encourage your children to ask questions. You can help provide explanations to things that might otherwise be confusing to them.
  • Don’t ignore differences – Many parents mistakenly want their children to be “difference blind.” This can only make the situation worse. There are many differences among us that should be embraced including how someone speaks, what they wear or eat, how their name is pronounced, or if they have two moms. These differences are bound to ignite curiosity and could lead to questions. Instead of ignoring diversity, teach your child to accept what makes us all unique and that our differences are only part of who we are, but they do not define us.

By following these tips, you can raise your children to be more accepting of others, which will go a long way in their development into adulthood.

All content of this newsletter is intended for general information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult a medical professional before adopting any of the suggestions on this page. You must never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment based upon any content of this newsletter. PROMPTLY CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CALL 911 IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

Halloween Safety Tips

Mother with her son and daughter in Halloween costumes

Halloween is known as a kid-favorite holiday full of spooky fun and lots of candy.  However, it can also present many opportunities for injury, as children take to the streets in pursuit of trick-or-treat goodies.

Statistics show that roughly four times as many children aged 5-14 are killed while walking on Halloween evening compared with other evenings of the year.  Also, injuries such as falls are a leading cause of injuries among children on Halloween.

Parents can help minimize the risk of children getting injured at Halloween by following these safety tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Safety Council.

On Halloween children should:

  • Go only to well-lit houses and remain on porches than entering houses.
  • Travel in small groups accompanied by an adult.
  • Use costume plastic knives and swords that are flexible, not rigid or sharp.
  • When walking through neighborhoods trick or treating, use flashlights, stay on sidewalks, and avoid crossing yards.
  • Cross at the corner, use crosswalks and do not cross between parked cars.
  • Be sure to stop at all corners and stay together in a group before crossing.
  • Wear clothing or costumes that are bright, reflective and flame retardant.
  • Consider using face paint instead of masks which can obstruct a child’s vision.
  • Avoid wearing hats that will slide over children’s eyes.
  • Avoid wearing long, baggy or loose costumes or oversized shoes to prevent tripping.
  • Be reminded to look left, right and left again before crossing a street.

On Halloween parents and adults should:

  • Supervise the trick or treat outing for children under age 12.
  • Avoid giving choking hazards such a gum, peanuts, hard candies, or small toys as treats to young children.
  • Parents and adults should ensure the safety of pedestrian trick or treaters.
  • Make sure children under age 10 are supervised as they cross the street.
  • Drive slowly.
  • Watch for children in the street and on medians.
  • Exit driveways and alleyways slowly and carefully.
  • Have children get out of cars on the curbs side, not on the traffic side.

By following these simple tips, you and your children can have a safe and fun Halloween!

All content of this newsletter is intended for general information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult a medical professional before adopting any of the suggestions on this page. You must never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment based upon any content of this newsletter. PROMPTLY CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CALL 911 IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

Are You Parenting an Anxious Child?

Child psychologist with a little girl

Similar to adults, children can feel worried and anxious.  In fact, feeling anxious about certain things at different stages of their growth is normal.  However, if anxiety and worry are chronic, there is a chance that a serious problem is developing.

Early on, younger children may have separation anxiety from their parents. They may become clingy, have difficulty sleeping, wake during the night, start wetting the bed or have nightmares.  These behaviors are typically temporary and should begin to subside around age two or three.  If they persist as your child gets older, you may want to monitor their behavior for signs that are indicative of an anxiety disorder.

Some signs to look out for are:

  • lack the confidence to try new things or seem unable to face simple, everyday challenges
  • find it hard to concentrate
  • have problems with sleeping or eating
  • are prone to angry outbursts
  • have negative thoughts going round and round their head, or keep thinking that bad things are going to happen
  • start avoiding everyday activities, such as seeing friends, going out in public or attending school

There are many ways to help your child through these worrisome times.  Work with your child to recognize what “triggers” their anxiety and urge them to ask for help when the feel unsure. Try sticking to a regular routine and suggest reading books on the topic with your children.  Additionally, if you know a change is coming such as a new home, talk to your child and be clear on what they should expect.

Most importantly, don’t try to shield your child from situations, rather encourage your child to find ways to manage their anxiety.  Using simple relaxation techniques such as taking slow breaths can really help them navigate an episode.

If you have tried these methods and your child is still anxious, you can make an appointment with a trained mental health professional at the Jamaica Hospital Medical Center‘s Mental Health Center.  Call 718-206-7071 for an appointment.

All content of this newsletter is intended for general information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult a medical professional before adopting any of the suggestions on this page. You must never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment based upon any content of this newsletter. PROMPTLY CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CALL 911 IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling_RivalrySibling rivalry is defined as a type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood related or not.

The sibling bond can be complicated since they generally spend more time together during childhood than they do with their parents. Sibling rivalry can be particularly intense when the children are very close in age and of the same gender.

Although bickering between siblings can drive parents crazy, sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up.  Parents must create an equal balance of when to step in and play referee and when to let their kids work out their problems themselves.

Below are some of the common reasons for sibling rivalry:

  • Attention – Children are always vying for their parents’ attention. These days, parents are busier than ever and their attention on work or a new baby may cause less of a focus on each child.  Children may act out and misbehave to get attention.
  • Sharing – With limited resources, siblings may have to share at least some of their possessions. Game systems, iPad’s or electronic items can be hard to share and require children to compartmentalize their time on each item.
  • Personality Differences – Some children are headstrong while others can be quieter and more introverted. Differences in temperament can lead to clashes.
  • Fairness issues – Children are always demanding fairness and equality and fighting for what they perceive are their natural born rights. A younger sibling might complain that her older sister gets to go to a concert and she has to stay home, while the older sister whines that she has to baby-sit her little sister instead of going out with her friends.

Your responsibility as a parent is to help your kids to learn to manage the feelings that come along with sibling rivalry. So, how can you stop the bickering? As a parent, you may have to indulge each child once in a while.  Make the effort to spend “just us” time with your children and speak to them about tolerance and the benefits of being part of a family.  Each child has their own unique strong points. Identify how those positive characteristics could cause them to become a role model to the other siblings.

Be sure not to confuse bullying with normal sibling rivalry.  If one of your children bullies his/her siblings and has to be the boss and control the others to the point of getting physical, you will have to determine the difference, especially if there is aggression over and above the bickering.

In most instances of sibling rivalry, approach all situations with a level head and a firm stance on a standard of respect that is expected in your home.  Live the model you would like them to emulate.

All content of this newsletter is intended for general information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult a medical professional before adopting any of the suggestions on this page. You must never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment based upon any content of this newsletter. PROMPTLY CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CALL 911 IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

Bed Bug Prevention for Kids

Growing up you may remember hearing “sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite” as a sweet, night time rhyme. But recent reports of bed bugs in hotels, movie theaters and even the cleanest of homes have people on high alert. While kids are out of school for winter break they may have traveled with a few critters before returning to class.

Bed bugs are flat, reddish-brown insects about the size of an apple seed. They come out at night to feed on blood which means biting you up in your sleep. After feeding bed bugs tend to hide in clothing in your luggage which moves them to another location, causing them to spread. Since you are more likely to encounter bed bugs while traveling than in your home, here are some prevention tips:

  1. Do a bed bug check of every room before settling in. Small spots of blood on the sheets or mattresses usually reveal bed bug trails.
  2. Keep luggage zipped up and off of the floors and beds by using the luggage racks provided.
  3. Keep clothing in a tied or sealed bag and wash immediately after returning.
  4. If purchasing used clothing wash your items immediately before use or storage.
  5. Keep your home uncluttered so bed bugs won’t have anywhere to hide.

If you think you have a bed bug problem notify your local pest management provider immediately, or tell your property manager if you are renting so they can begin to create a customized treatment for your bed bugs. Bed bugs can multiply quickly, so early detection is critical to help prevent an even larger infestation.

Bedbugs

All content of this newsletter is intended for general information purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult a medical professional before adopting any of the suggestions on this page. You must never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment based upon any content of this newsletter. PROMPTLY CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CALL 911 IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.